One of the topics I get asked about most often is the topic of Love, most notably romantic love: how to find it and how to keep it. I have always been hesitant to speak about it because I had not found that special someone myself. Sort of like asking a homeless person if you should invest in precious metals, he may know what he’s talking about but he wouldn’t be very convincing.

But things have changed now and I have found love! I’m in a relationship that I could not even begin to describe in words the wonderfulness of, so I won’t even try. I will instead explain from my more credible platform how I would suggest you go about manifesting a loving relationship in your own life.

For you people on-the-go looking for the answer without all the bells and whistles here’s the long and the short of it:

Summary

I know, I know! You’ve heard this all before and it’s not worked for you. I get it. I’ve been there. It’s exactly the opposite of what you want to hear or would want to be true but there’s a reason those in love spew this stuff: because it just the truth. Let’s get into a little more detail as to why.

Time to Share

The hardest part for me, by far, was understanding that I wasn’t looking for a person but instead I was looking for a feeling, an emotion, an experience. From the very first day I met my best friend I was in love with her. I adore her immediately and I was just absolutely hooked on everything about her to the point that it drove me crazy. I wanted her to be in love with me as well but she was already in a relationship so I was at a deliciously delightful dilemma. I wanted her to love me but I couldn’t see how that would ever be possible. That, my friends, is a recipe for torture. Eventually, I came to the point where I just had to give it up and understand that I wanted the feeling of love that I thought I could have with her, and accept that I could find that with just about anyone if I stopped narrowing my focus to just one person.

Just as detrimental to my chances of finding a lover was that I did not love myself. Oh I liked myself, and there were a whole lot of aspects of me that I more than liked, but I could never say I loved myself. I was looking for confirmation from someone else that I was lovable which is perfectly silly considering that I know that everyone is merely a reflection of what I think of myself. So if I don’t love myself then that cannot be reflected back to me. Once I got that I stopped looking for confirmation of my lovableness from others and focused on loving me. I literally fell in love with myself in exactly the same way I would have fallen in love with a partner. I didn’t do it to find someone, I did it to find me. That’s a very important distinction.

The last step was to abandon ever finding someone to love me, or to be in love with. I literally stopped looking. Not just for a while. I didn’t just say the words but in my heart evaluate whether or not this person or that person would be the “one”. I just stopped looking completely and forever. I gave up. I let that go. It was much easier when the first two points were accomplished I’ll admit. But it needed to be done.

Once all three points were satisfied, once I was finally in a place where I cared about how I felt, was totally enamoured with who I was, and couldn’t care less about whether or not I ever found anyone because I was so very satisfied and complete with who I was; then and only then did the world seem to change in an instant. I was a magnet for woman. I was obviously attractive to many people. And the icing on the cake? My best friend fell in love with me. It was as if she saw me for the first time shining and beaming full of self-confidence and optimism without any craving or yearning within me. And out of the clear blue sky, with a speed that still blows my mind, we went from best friends to genuine lovers because now I had love within me to give, which I did not have before.

So that’s my story, folks, and I’m sticking to it. I share this with you only because it makes me happy to do so and I wish for everyone to fall in love with who they are because that’s all you’re looking for anyway: permission or an excuse to love yourself. Yet you don’t have to wait. Do it now and watch how the universe does all it can to bring you love in a myriad of ways so amazing and so splendid that you cannot even conceive of it now.